Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

This book filled a hole in my heart, a spot I didn’t know why it existed but was nonetheless ever-present.

“You are moving out of the realm of fantasy “when I grow up” and adjusting to the reality that you’re there; it’s happening. And it wasn’t what you thought it might be. You are not who you thought you’d be.”

Everything I Know About Love page. 167

I have always approached my birthday with unease. I tentatively put one foot in front of the other when crossing the bridge into a new age of uncertainties and unknowns. I am pushing 20 and desperately trying to hold onto my girlhood while I am still a teenager. One day I am taping a One Direction poster to my wall, and the next I am framing minimalist artwork. There is a very real and dreadful possibility that the bridge to my blissful youth will crumble when I cross into adulthood, a world filled with exhausting 9-to-5s, burnout, and confusing tax payments.

Dolly Alderton touches on this feeling of high-sped aging in Everything I Know About Love. Though it is not the novel’s main topic, it is the one that spoke to me the most. Alderton’s memoir recounts her anxieties about change accompanying age, friendship, and identity. Years pass quickly. It is human nature to move forward; but Alderton emphasizes how love can counteract life’s continual acceleration. Love will have you stopping to smell the roses – to appreciate the Present before it becomes the Past.

Alderton does not hold back – she writes unbearably honestly, and chapters often read like a diary. Some of my favorite passages are about her memories with her childhood best friend, Farley. Alderton writes about Farley in a deeply vulnerable, pure, and caring manner that has tears prickling my eyes. Everything I Know About Love pulls on your heartstrings, making you want to engulf those closest to you in a giant bear hug and never let go.

A particular passage I highlighted was Alderton’s inclusion of Swiss milking songs (pg. 341).

“Nostalgia was originally diagnosed as a sickness. In the 1600s, the word was coined to describe an acute physical pain that Swiss soldiers experienced when they were in the lowlands of Italy and yearning for the alpine vistas of home. Nostalgia and is symptoms were so deadly that playing a particular Swiss milking song was punishable by death.”

Everything I Know About Love (page 341)

Nostalgia is an interesting paradox wherein I smile at a memory but cry because that moment is over. I want to share some moments plagued by nostalgia that make my heart ache to the point where my love for that moment is so overwhelming I feel as if I might explode.

• My childhood summer camp
• May 2022 trip to Saint Augustine to see Phoebe Bridgers and Wallows in concert! I went with friends from high school who I also call my Forever Friends ❤ I laughed until my stomach hurt and sucked the marrow out of life. It was probably the most carefree I have ever felt! Shoutout to my wonderful friends!
• Summer beach trips to Alligator Point and eating at Tropical Trader.
• The entirety of Summer 2021 AKA the summer before freshman year of college when I spent nearly every summer’s day with Emily and Layne!
• Winter Break 2021 AKA seeing my high school friends after a semester apart at different universities.
• Coffee dates with friends.
• Halloween Horror Nights 2022. I miss my friends every day, but the moments when we are finally in the same city are unbeatable. It is true that distance makes the heart grow fonder! Though I wish it didn’t have to be that way.
• Harry Styles: Love on Tour… what a night!
• COIN concert in Orlando.
• Leon Dance Marathon 2021. This day was well worth the year-long stress!

Back to the review… I recommend this book to young adults struggling with aging. I am glad I read this before entering my twenties so I know how to make the most of them!

Everything I Know About Love is also a TV show! I have watched and loved it! I think it recently became available in the U.S. to stream, but I started a free trial with VPN express to watch the show on BBC Player for free! The show does not strictly follow the book, but rather resembles the characterizations of Dolly and her friends.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Rating: 5 out of 5.

“… no matter what we lose, no matter how uncertain and unpredictable life gets, some people really do walk next to you forever.”

Everything I Know About Love page. 265